We all have times in our lives when we need a little bit of extra help, a person to vent to or just a hug. While having a significant other will help at those times when you need a little extra, sometimes they are not around to provide that support. This is when your support system kicks in. Your support system of other people in your life that can come to your aid (rescue) when you have the need.
Those people who are part of both the good things and the bad, who can (usually) drop what they are doing and pick up your kids, stop by for a drink or bring over dinner, just to help out a bit.
Without this group of people you have to do everything alone. There is no one else to rely on and when things go bad or really good there is no one to share the joy or pain with, which makes the joy less bright and the pain more dark.
We were designed to be social creatures. We are not intended to live our lives without sharing things with others. Our world doesn’t work well if we aren’t willing to share our time, energy and emotions with others.
Yes, you can have too much sharing and there are those people in the world who always seem to be in need and don’t seem to be able to do things on their own.
Our society creates the expectation that we have to do everything on our own, that we have to be independent. Yet, there is also the competing expectation that if you can’t do something on your own or you get overwhelmed you need to ask for help. There is a fine line, a balance, that seems to exist that everyone needs to determine for themselves. Knowing how much you can do on your own before you need to ask for help is critical to developing your support system.
Trying to do everything:
- raising kids
- getting them to extra curricular activities
- making time for yourself
- cleaning house
- maintaining property (cars, technology, house, etc.)
- staying in shape
- eating right
- going to work to make money
- the list goes on and on…
will just make you crazy. Even as a single person who only has to care for themselves there are things that you need to do everyday.
Your support system – network – is an important part to being a healthy person. Those people you include in your support system help to motivate you to be healthier, to do things that you don’t think you have time for, to slow down, to find time for yourself, and in turn you often help them in the same way.
A good support system provides you with people that you not only call on in times of need, but you also include in the exciting events. You find ways to do fun stuff together.
They are not just your family and you don’t have to know them long to include them in your system. The people you include in your support system have come through for you before and have indicated that you can count on them again. Just remember that if they are in your system you are likely in theirs so there will be some return favors. Nothing is ever one-way.
You know you have a solid support system when emergencies arise and there are people there that can help you out and don’t think twice about saying ‘YES’ when you ask. These people make life easier to live and the painful and challenging times a little less painful and challenging.
I send out a huge THANK YOU to those people in my support system. I couldn’t do everything that I do without you!