It has been said that having a child changes you life, and I agree to a certain point. There are those that say that your life ends when you have children. I disagree with this one entirely. If you think that children will end your life, don’t have them. Children should add to your life, not take away from it. This includes the connection you have with your spouse.
When you have children time to yourself becomes a commodity and possibly a rare commodity if you have more than one. Don’t panic, there are things you can do to keep your relationship with your spouse.
The first thing you can do is trying not to put too much pressure on each other. You are adding a new person to your relationship and that in itself is pressure enough. Having a child is something that changes your body. Don’t expect to feel exactly the same way about intimacy when you get home with your little person as you did prior to getting pregnant. Your body changes, it will come back, the sense of intimacy.
Secondly, remember to talk to each other. Communication is important in any relationship and even more so when adding a little person to it. As a women you don’t need to do it all, you can ask for help, and it is okay to expect your spouse to participate in raising your children. Talking about how you are feeling is important also in dealing with postpartum depression.
Thirdly, have date nights. While you may not be able to do this right away, as soon as you are able take some time to go out for dinner or even just drinks with each other. In fact, your first date night might even include you little person. Might just be in your home with some good takeout. Make these as regular as possible.
Finally, continue to do things that you like to do. If you like to garden, do so. If you like to play computer games, play. If you like getting together with friends, host parties. Your life isn’t put on hold just because you have children and those that are truly your friends won’t mind the children addition that comes with you. Children that are exposed to social functions early in life and shown as well as told how to act in social functions are better behaved when you do need to have them in attendance when they are older.
Children are special and not a burden. They enhance you life not take away from it.
Remember that to take care of your children you also need to take care of each other.
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