Romance Novels Can Rejuvenation the Spark

Spark?  Where are you Spark?

What spark?

That one that lets you know that the person you are with is the one!  That thing, that connection, that…Spark.spark

It is the bane of relationships, the loss of the spark.

I have recently realized that my spark had been lost.  I am not saying that I don’t love my husband or that I stopped.  I do.  He is the most caring, loving and considerate person I know.  What I am saying is that my drive, my spark, my romantic side had gotten lost within the life we were living.

Laundry, cooking, getting groceries, making sure our kiddlet was safe, fed, clean, happy, playing, learning, etc., work, money worries, and well everything other than our spark.

We had started talking about seriously trying to have another child and I realized that my heart wasn’t in the act of it.  I want another child, and with my husband, who is amazing, really amazing, but I wasn’t in it mentally.  All of the other worries in life had just taken over.

We still went out for dinner together or a movie, and that was wonderful, but we didn’t cuddle on the couch or passionately kiss.  We were just going through the motions.

It bothered me and I didn’t know what to do about it.  Really didn’t.  We talked about it, but that didn’t seem to help much.  I sell Passion Party products and even those didn’t really help.

I realized that it was my own fantasy had been lost.  My dream man so to speak…we all have them and dream of them and hope that they are in the person we married, are dating, or partnered with.  Mine is, but I had lost touch with him, and he had lost touch with his dream girl in me.  Scary…where was this going and how could we stop it!

Nothing was really wrong in our relationship, we still talked, made love, and did things together, but it wasn’t the same as it once was.  Okay stop complaining.  I wanted that connection back…That spark!

So I went hunting…in Romance novels…good storied dirty novels!  My husband calls them mind porn.  While I was reading them, well burning through them like I hadn’t burned through books since I was 16, I realized something.

I realized that I had not lost the Spark!  I has not acting on it.  It was smoldering in the background just waiting for me to realize that I just needed to act more on the impulses and that I wasn’t sharing nearly what I thought I had been.   That my romance novel hero was still in my life and I just needed to reach out and make things happen.  Put aside the laundry…actually asked for help from him there…to give more time for us to just be together.  To kiss more passionately and cuddle more, and well grab the 10 minutes we might find to run to the bedroom.

I realized something else while I was readying and getting my spark back.  Some of the Romance novels out there really do twist the romantic aspects of life entirely out of reality.  No wonder some of our young women have such a twisted view of relationships.  But I also realized that while men look at porn, magazines and videos, women use novels to do much the same.  Fantasy is important to romantic life.  Without this your spark will dwindle, fade.  Fantasy, imagination and communication can bring it back.

Since I read the novels by author Sylvia Day (Barred to You Series)…can’t wait for the next one to be out in digital copy…I have found my spark is brighter than it has been in a really long while and my heart is back in the idea of expanding our family.

If you take this route, just make sure that you are still talking to your partner.  The most important thing in a relationship is communication, even re-kindling a spark doesn’t work without it.3689364622_912774899e

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Published by Sabrina J. Adams (Syryn TheVoice)

I have many different hats that I wear. Throughout my life I have been many different things: a small business owner, problem solver, mother, friend, sister, writer, designer, employee, manager, consultant, gamer, leader and many more buzz words that I can't think of. Many of these I still do, but some I have let go to focus more on the here and now. I like to share my experiences, ideas and funny things I run across. Ask me something and I will provide an honest and likely unfiltered opinion. I am still learning about life, myself, relationships, parenting and well everything else. I am not superwoman and don't really have my life together, but I manage and am willing to share my tips and learnings. Writing for me can be cathartic and sharing makes us not feel so alone in this crazy, mess of a world we currently inhabit.

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