It has always been something of a mystery to me why we focus so much on one day to express our love to each other. Especially considering the celebration really doesn’t entirely come from any place of love, but of the remembrance of religious persons named Valentine who were killed and so became martyrs. While there is at least one of these Saint Valentines who did focus on relationships, marriages, and love it is not clear that all such named Saints did. Nor was it them who were professing love for another. Most times it was the sacrifice that was recorded. Or at least that’s what I could get from the Wiki.
While using one day to make sure that you are treating your significant other extra special is a good thing, why do we need reminding to do this? Are we so busy with our work, school, etc. that we forget to tell each other that of our love? Are we so engaged with our own problems that we can’t see to do something small for someone every day just because we can?
As our societies have become more open to expressions of love the use of one day to share your feelings with someone has become more commercialized. While there is evidence that the giving of gifts has happened from the inception of the day Valentines it has become more about the gifts given and not about the care and feelings associated with the gifts. This does not promote healthy relationships nor does it promote open
communication which is critical in a relationship. Using one day to do something special for someone you care about also doesn’t set a good example for our children when it comes to healthy relationships. While it is nice to have a special day, it doesn’t need to happen on a holiday indicated in a calendar.
I believe that every day you spend with people you care about is special. I am not against Valentine’s Day, but I don’t believe that it is any more special than today, tomorrow or any other day of the week you might currently be in. Valentine’s Day does remind us to make sure that we are communicating our care, love, for those who are in our lives. However, we should do this all the time, and it doesn’t have to be gifts.
If I saved up all of my appreciation and expressions of love for one day a year, well I couldn’t.
My challenge to you for this Valentine’s Day…Don’t go out for dinner. Pick a recipe and make dinner together. Have a conversation in your own home. Give each other handmade cards, or write your own appreciation in a card. Do something that you haven’t done in a long time. And to top it off pick a day everyone month to do the same thing again! Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be on Feb 14 but can be any time during the year when you feel moved to express your love for those in your life.
I truly believe that if we shared more of this feeling with those we care about our world would be a more pleasant place to be.
Happy Valentine’s Day…Every Day!