Answer the following questions:
Who in your relationship is responsible for:
- Household bills?
- Household repairs?
- Vehicle bills?
- Raising children?
- Caring for pets?
- Organizing date nights?
Have you talked to your partner about who is responsible for the above?
Are you living with your current partner? (No – are you thinking about moving in together?)
How did you decide who is responsible for the above tasks?
If you talked about the tasks prior to moving in with your significant other you are a step ahead of many other couples, and I must applaud you for your communication skills.
If you haven’t don’t worry. I’m sure you will now, however be cautious at how you approach the subject as these are expectations that we have of each other that come from both how we grew up and how we see our perfect life.
I truly believe that you need to talk about the mundane, everyday tasks in life to really get to know someone. Finding out what your partner expects of you in relation to everyday tasks is important to knowing if you can or are willing to meet those expectations and visa-verse. By learning about each others expectations in relation to everyday things you learn about values, beliefs and desires for the future.
In this particular time expectations need to be discussed. No longer can we assume that a woman will do all of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, child rearing, and other “household” duties and that the man will bring home the money, as our parents and grandparents may have done. In most relationships both partners work, time at home is different than it was when some of these stereotypical roles were defined. Thus it is important to talk about what you expect from each other early in our relationships.
I can say with certainty that had my husband and I not talked about these things, and revisit them on a regular basis, we would not be married or even have a child. Our living together would have been a challenge from day one as we would have been angry at each other for not meeting expectations we had of each other that we never shared. And how is that fair?
Communication is a skill. Being in a relationship takes work. By setting your expectations of each other early you take some of the work out of your relationship. The guess work. Suddenly communication becomes easier as you know how to address the sticky subjects like who is cleaning the bathroom toilet this week.